When The BLADE becomes your LOVER! (Self-Harming)

Selfhurting: is hurting your self in purpose. The purpose is not to die. People who keep hurting themselves, don’t want to die at all.

The way of hurting : Cutting, scratching, burning, hurting by cigarette’s , using a knife to carve scars into the skin ( not letting the scars to heal), prick skin, eating pills. There are many more ways of self hurting..

So why !

Why would a beautifull girl hurt herself? Why would a smart boy burn his skin with a lighter? What is the reason for it? 

For many Self-Harmers the main reason for hurting themselves is through mental anguish they  they use Physical pain to try and dull out their mental pain.

Physical pain is something you can touch and help, mental pain you can’t. When you feel pain, the Brain starts to produce endorfines and these dull the feelings of Stress and Phobias.  When someone cuts his hands he feels the physical pain, not the mental pain. So hurting itself is an escape from a mental pain.

Before you start hurting yourself!

Before you cut yourself for a first time, remember-you will like it. You find out that blood and relief from a pain are addictive.

 Even when you think that you make just a few cuts, From a few cuts will be soon many. The little scars become bigger and deeper and dont heal well.

 All the purpose of your life will be cutting yourself and hiding the scars. Just wait untill you cut yourself very deep for a first time. When you feel lonely, your best friend will be scissors, a knife, your car keys, any sharp object. You would soon regret that you ever started to self harm. You will love it and hate it at the same time. You will not be able to live without it but you may die because of it.

Celebrities who experienced selfhurting as well.

Angelina Jolie – when she was 13years od she started to hurting herself, She continued untill she was 16years old. She said „I was looking to feel something. I liked to look at blood. I believed I am not doing anything wrong. It was a scream of my inner soul, calling for help“

Christina Ricci  - You can find a small scars on her hands caused by a lighter. She used to burn her skin to get rid of the stress. Her main problem starts when she felt unpretty, ugly. Everytime she liked a boy who did not notice her, she would hurt herself to fade the mental pain.

Johny Deep – Has also experienced  selfhurting. There are some scars on his left hand as a memory of it. He said „ Body is like a history book, everything should be recorded on it.“

Few words of therapy

Judith Lewis Herman author of the book Trauma and Recovery said:  Mostly a woman suffer from a selfhurting. Many of them were raped, abused sexuallyor had gone trough a trauma. For them is better to feel physical pain rather then emotional.

 Many of them suffer from personality failure. They have a problem dealing with daily life problems at work, relationship or family.

It is not always clear what causes selfhurting at all.

 Therapy works with the client and his personality. Therapy needs to find the underlying cause of the selfhurting. It is a long process from beginning therapy to full recovery.

Therapy also helps the client to deal with daily problems, teaching him How to think, How to avoid selfhurting.

Recovery is hard

I know a lot about selfhurting. My sister had a car accident and ended up dissabled. You can read about her story here: Miracles do happen! The doctors did their best with the physical side of her body.

She gone trought some mental recovery as well, she still struggles to cope with it all . She blames herself for everything. She cries a lot and one time she cut her veins.

Last night 13.1.2010 she was ok, I went to sleep. Then she woke me up with her hands full of blood. She had done it again. After a long time I tought she is doing fine and just last night proved How wrong I was.

She is now in hospital and I fear the day when she comes back home. I do not fear that she would hurt anyone but herself.

I am trying to be with her as much possible but it is still not enough. She has her own world with her imagination.

I believe she has also double personalities. When she is with me, she is so nice and smilling. When I am away she is moody and calling me twice in hour asking when I come home.

Now all I can do is to be part of her therapy. I feel so hopeless. Do miracles really happen?

The saddest thing is that people with this problem are not hurting just themselves, but their relatives too. It is so hard to see a crying sister sitting on a wheelchar with her veins cut.

So I am living constantly in a nightmare that she cuts her veins deeper and dies. Looks like I really need therapy too.